Today Thunderpants and I went to the fort this afternoon and on our way home as we were listening to her CD-Justin Bieber(I know, you don’t have to say it), she asked me how her Daddy and I became boyfriend and girlfriend as well as asking how he and I agreed to have a baby and get married.
I told her how we had met when I was working at the Odeon(RIP) on Reinfield street when I was a student and that her Uncle B was my boss and had introduced us etc. I also said that we had gotten pregnant before her and that we lost that baby which made us realise how much we had wanted to be parents and that she was made from that decision and of course out of love.After a bottle of cava…
She then said to me “what about if I don’t get a husband”? I said, well that’s OK cause not everyone gets married or you may get a wife. She said “Like the ladies at the museum”? and I said “Yes”. We had gone to Kelvingrove Museum at Christmas and there is an exhibit celebrating same sex marriage and this had obviously stuck in her mind. I think if she is old enough to ask questions that she is old enough to get an answer. Also, I have a lot of friends who are gay/bi etc and I see no reason for her not to know, its just as much part of life as being heterosexual.
Her father though, asked me “We should consider the school that she is at” (a Catholic school ), I don’t believe that we should because A) I am a recovering catholic and B) they don’t consider the thousands of people that they have shunned, offended etc. I know he is thinking of her, he also doesn’t see peoples sexuality as an issue(as it shouldn’t be) but it still did bother me.
I know some parents are going to wonder why I explained this as she is only 5, I got the same reaction when I posted about being honest when it came time to discuss suicide but it is my choice and right , as a parent to do this. I feel a child who knows the truth, will be more informed and more accepting of things in society which have stigma attached to it. She already knows that i had PND and although she may not completely know what mental ill health is, I’m always around if she wants to talk about it.
How do you all deal as parents, with issues which are considered “taboo”? Would be interested in hearing!
I’ve definitely told my 7-yr old that he can marry whomever he wants, a girl or a boy. There aren’t really any tabboos in my world
I think so too. It’s about teaching them about acceptance and that no one should ever feel shame fr who they are in life:)
I think that if I’d had parents who were as open-minded and honest without being judgemental as you, it would have been far easier for me to come out to them. As it is, my mum is very fond of my girlfriend, but I do feel bad that my dad doesn’t even know about her, despite the fact we’ve been together 3 years! I applaud you for being so accepting and open with your daughter – it’s the only way to change the hate some people get!
Wow! Thanks so much for such a compliment! I just don’t see why there should be an issue made .. In saying that, if I was gay and told my family, I think they wouldn’t be so understanding neither, especially my Dad. I used to put it down to the generation(when younger) but I really don’t think that’s acceptable and it’s an excuse. Thanks again for your lovely comment an glad to know that your mum is supportive.
I think the choice is up to you when the time is right to talk to your child about taboo subjects. You know your child better than anyone and as long as you’re there to answer their questions (which it seems you are) then that’s what’s important.
Obviously we will have to talk to our little one a lot sooner than most, to explain how people can fall in love. But we will make sure we talk to him in a way he understands.
I’m sure there will be other issues that arise that will give us concern over when is too early to talk about it etc.
It is certainly a personal choice as a parent, you are right. I just wish that it wasn’t even a talking point , that it was accepted more. AS for your son,he is going to grow up with acceptance and love, because of you and your partner. He is one lucky little boy
Thanks for reading.