This Friday see’s the last session of my CBT session at the Mother and Baby unit in The Southern General, sniff sniff. Its gone by fast and I am really proud of myself and what I have achieved so far. I remember thinking at one point that I felt I hadn’t really made a lot of progress but its about what you put into it that matters and I put my heart and soul as I wanted to make significant changes in my life.
I also feel that I had a great relationship with my therapist, which counts for a lot because you don’t want to divulge information to someone that you don’t feel comfortable with, its not how the therapeutic relationship works. Although they don’t tell you the answers and its all about how you yourself works through things, its helpful when someone can use unconditional positive regard and empathy where its needed. Also, I feel that my therapist was pretty darn good at challenging me, it was hard and there were tears but it was done at the right time and in the right circumstances. It did exhaust me and there were times when I didn’t want to attend but went because as I said, if you don’t put in the work, you will get bugger all at the end.
So how do I feel about ending my sessions? I feel good, I feel empowered and I feel positive about the future. As someone who has an HNC in counselling, it was difficult to change roles and be the client but once I was able to get over that and believe me it was very difficult as I was constantly going over things that I said , trying to self analyze etc that was when the hard work started. I learned so much about how I view the world, how I use values that I have been brought up with in positive and negative ways, how I used negative thinking styes in so many different aspects of my life and for so long. I feel like I am starting to see the world through different eyes and that I have woken from a hazy sleep.
I am under no illusion that I won’t at times slip back in to these ways of thinking or behaviors but I am aware when I am doing it and I have learned the skills, taught myself really, how to get through them and to use positive self talk. These are skills to have for life and at the beginning I was skeptical about CBT, but I realize it was a belief of someone else that I took on as my own , as it being the new fad for the NHS due to cost effectiveness. I used to be more into person centered, and I think that there will be a part of me that will always be, but sometimes you have to let go of the past. Yes it is of major value but sometimes dealing with the here and now can actually help you to deal with ghosts of the past.