Cynical At Christmas

I love Christmas, I really do and this year was no exception to the rule…. well almost. I think it started on Christmas Eve when a friend of mine and I were preparing our random acts of kindness bundles of scones and cupcakes packaging them up and leaving them on peoples door steps. We felt pretty guilty because we in the end couldn’t do all of the houses and we had to say to ourselves that enough was enough, see it for what it was and stop putting pressure to spend more on ingredients that we were rapidly running out of and do what we could  whilst understanding why we were doing it and for what reason, ie KINDNESS.

The issue that I had wasn’t that one or two people had a  inclination that it was us, but 1 person said she wouldn’t eat it as it may be “dodgy” or have something in it…  Why are we on guard so much that an act of kindness is construed as one of harm or with a deeper and sinister meaning? I guess its because of the world we now live in with violence ect… Maybe next year we should just write notes of kindness cause at least we cant lace it with cyanide or anything else. I don’t blame her, as I said these are the life and times that we live in and maybe we should have thought of something else to give/do for people which would restore their faith in human nature and community spirit.

My other issue is with the amount of gifts that we give. My husband, god love him, had been buying gifts for Thunderpants since October!! She had that many gifts that she said she wasn’t sure if Santa made it to all of the other boys and girls, and said that she might save some for opening later in the day. She got another two from her cousins plus a few more when she went down to her nanna’s and money from one of her Papa’s.  I said to her that next year it wouldn’t be like this as she will have a little brother to share Christmas with and that it was more about spending time with her family and our friends, trying to teach her different things which I do believe she understood and that it wasn’t just about Santa and being good/or bad(I hate that), but about family time, slowing down and just enjoying family time.

My best present this year, was a self made “Canadian Selection Box”, by my husband who got all of my favorite candy bars. It was the thought that went in to it. That’s what made me feel all warm and fuzzy,  the thought that I do and probably always will miss home at this time of year and a little bit of home is just what I need and appreciate.

When I went on to twitter this AM, my cynicism grew when BBC Radio 5 Live posted about police guarding entrances at Selfridges to make sure that sales don’t get out of hand. Are you fucking serious? Its a sad day when we have to “get out of hand” over products and services that we don’t need at the expense of someone else’s safety and our own sanity!  Or what about the magazine that says we can now concentrate on our new years diets, the same one which posted a few days earlier to have a Merry Christmas and to enjoy it but then ripping the carpet out from under our feet today with insinuating that we are all fat bastards and should now repent. Really?!

Then there are those who are having to work to meet the demands of society and consumerism, can’t we spend time at home with the kids, family that we actually want to see , relax before having to go back to work/study or whatever demands you have in life? Just one more day?! Is there a need to stand in ques and get pissed off cause the person serving, isn’t going fast enough for us? Yes, spare a thought also for these people who are trying to keep up with getting people through the door and then back out, the conveyor belt of people in order to line the pockets of some fat cat business person who IS sitting at home and enjoying their time off.

When did life become like this? What has changed? Why are we only nicer to people at Christmas, why not any other time of the year too?  Why is there so much greed?!  what about the homeless or those who have to deal with the loss of a loved one? Why so much competition? Someone re tweeted that Facebook lies about Christmas where as twitter gives you the reality… This is so true and really gives some good reason to never go back to Facebook again.

So I bid you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year… from the heart!

Quitting Facebook/Schmuckbook/Boastbook and Social Media

Yesterday I did it. I deleted my Facebook app/account and now have to wait 14 days to have my Farcebook account permanently deleted. I feel good about it, I feel free but I also feel slightly sad as there are one or two contacts that I would have liked to have still kept in touch with like my grade school teacher who is pretty amazing but I’m sure she will have my blog address etc.

I am now wondering if I should do the same with twitter.. You see, the reasons for wanting to delete both of them are because I get myself in to a constant circle of checking. a repetitive circle of that, commenting on other peoples blogs (I enjoy that part), checking stats, and tweeting. It has gotten in the way of me getting things done around the house or outside of the home that are really top priorities. I also see the effect it has on my moods and the anxiety it causes, and that is not good but I am glad that I am aware enough to realize this.

My phone is the first thing I pick up in the morning, and after being on for a few mins I can feel that familiar feeling of sore shoulders, a twitching eye due to tiredness and anxiety. If during the night, I wake and can’t seep rather than keep trying to I pick up my phone and start reading tweets and it then wakes up my brain making it impossible to get back to sleep. The next day is spent trying to get through the tiresome haze, or going back to sleep and wasting the day and not getting anything done. I hate wasting a day but even by being on twitter and blogging too much, that is what I a doing. I got to a point where I was putting 2 posts a day out. That’s not why I started blogging. Yes I started to raise awareness but I also did it for me.

I guess this post is for those lovely people who asked why I wanted to close my account and had suggested alternatives. I thought about keeping it to tweet when I post on blog but will I fall into the vicious circle again? I think its very possible as its within my nature to also want to help people.. But as someone very wise said in her post about leaving FB, is it feeding another need? An ego? I think in my case it probably is. I have 5oo odd followers, is it healthy and possible to sustain contact with so many people? I have certainly made some lovely friends who I do want to continue speaking to and who were kind enough to forward on mobile numbers and email addresses. Those are the people who i will be making the effort for.

A lot of friends have said ” you wont last a week /month etc”, actually this time I think I will. Last time I suspended my account but this time I actually deleted it. It will take 14 days but I also have support from another friend who feels similar in the obsession that it can cause. I look forward to doing more with my time or on days when I want to relax, not feel as though I need to check stats or come out with blog posts that seem forced or written too quickly,i look forward to feeling more relaxed! I felt artificial when I would re post a link more than once in relation to a new blog post, like I was forcing people to read it. That’s not who I am.

I will continue to blog, probably without as many readers but I am doing it for me and if I go from 100 to 20 views a day, at least i know I feel comfortable. Thanks to all who have been reading my blog, and I hope to keep in contact as I will still be reading other blogs and commenting, i just wont be around on twitter.

Facebook Farkers

Now, I didn’t expect to start my birthday morning off in a rage but I have, one that’s actually making me feel real sick.

I couldn’t sleep and was on”boastbook”,
You know where life is fucking dandy and full of shits and giggles , roses grow out ones arse and life is just perfect!? Yes! That very one. So off I go to do my nosey, or stalking;) when I came across a picture of a man holding a dog by the throat saying “find this man”.

As a dog lover and owner, this picture enraged me and actually made me nearly physically sick to think that someone could do such a thing. Whoever took the pic also makes me sick but the point it brings me to is the circulation of said pictures apparently raising awareness for these causes. Actually, I believe it to be quite the opposite and it’s making me really angry that every fucking time I go on, there is something like that in my time line.

As someone who raises awareness for many different causes and is active in volunteering , sitting on your arse on a comfy chair, clicking on a screen, is NOT going to save that child/animal/or cause but instead being active and making a contribution, will.

I do not need to see that you have shared a picture ,showing how evil some people can be in life. I do not need to have it thrust upon me like that especially at silly o’clock in the morning! No wonder I don’t subscribe to your updates or have you actively in my time line! Stop it people, please! It’s not fair or right !!! It is becoming far too common for me to see these things on a daily basis!

Anyway, early morning rant done… I’m away to try and get that mental picture out of my head. I kid you not, it’s really messed my head up big time this morning and I’m actually tempted to delete my account due to anger and a while load of emotions. There should be warnings that come a long with these, like any other site which raises awareness it also exercises caution and common sense!

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