It’s Friday morning, 03:30am and I’m up…. I’m currently going through my Body Coach 90 Day SSS Plan and really reading it through. I went to bed last night around 21:00 and when I do that, I generally wake at this time before getting back to sleep again around 5am. Not good when you have a small child to look after and the school run to do but hey ho… it’s probably temporary.
I had a bad first day I of the plan, or should I saw half day? Yes, half day. I got up before my alarm and then did my HIIT with the dog as my faithful work out partner. I came home, had my build up bagel and then went for a sleep after prepping some pancakes.
About an hour later, I went to bed for a few hours as I was really tired which meant that I missed lunch and before I could have it, I needed to go and do the school run. I was “hangry”. It was then that I just started feeling dreadful… I found a group on Facebook and they kindly let me join and answered some questions that I had.
It seems that despite not having sugar much in my diet, I may be going through a bit of a withdrawal but also a codeine one as I was using it a lot due to pulling my back a few wks ago. This lightbulb moment only occurred to me a few mins or so ago.
My skin feels itchy, I feel like I have the flu, my anxiety levels are high, I have a sore head and I just feel generally like shit.
However, I have thought a lot about my goals and what I want to achieve and why I signed up for this. In hindsight another revelation was that I achieve most of my goals because I’m an incredibly driven person and I fear failure. The things that I have set my mind to have been incredible and things I have put myself through both mentally and physically …. well there’s been a lot, but one thing I haven’t been able to master is my weight.
My weight gain came after my daughter was born and I was experiencing post natal depression. I did manage to lose a bit and I was doing well but the depression took over as did the increase of alcohol (I wasn’t an alcoholic but consumed probably more than I would normally), and with that, the poor food choices and the lack of energy to be active. I see this clearly now for what it is.
When my Dad suddenly passed away 3 years ago, the same thing happened… alcohol and food to numb out the feelings… also the so called “fun nights” with bad choices and what I thought to be self confidence. As I write this, I am shedding a few tears because things suddenly start making sense… I can and I will do this… I’m in the frame of mind and although I know there will be some “hiccups” along the way, it’s not going to be any worse than the rock bottom that I have experienced in the past.
So just to wrap things up before trying to get to sleep…
• I can do this, there is enough food (poss too much) and anyone reading this, YOU can do this!
• Sugar withdrawal is a bastard
• Food prep is good but don’t get the fear if you can’t! Even if it’s just a breakfast or snack, it does help.
• Swap! use the tool that allows for this because life is too short to be eating things you don’t want to eat!
• You will achieve your goal, and sometimes it takes some sugar withdrawal and insomnia, for clarification
• We are controlled by our emotions when making food and alcohol choices, more than we might want to admit.
• If you know that you don’t like a certain food, swap the ass out of it! I made a salmon ball thing and it was rank. To me. I fucking hate salmon with a passion. The dog got that.
So that wraps up day 1… I may not blog everyday but you can find me and my ramblings over on Instagram! I’m now off to wax the tache, shave my legs and go back to sleep!