I am very conscious of how my posts sound and was worried that anyone going through this would think is there any hope? There is but I wanted people to know how debilitating it really is and that although our journey may be different to the next person, there are a lot of commonalities too.
I had mentioned before that I try to rationalize things in order for them to make sense in my own head, and this helps me to make sense of not only this but also about life in general… I think a lot of the similarities with people going through PND can be put down to patient care before and after. I know that because I was quite ill at the start of my pregnancy which I hadn’t mentioned previously , many trips to the hospital making sure that my baby was ok and that she was getting enough nutrients, may have started the anxiety part of my depression. I wonder if it kick started what was to be? I could be wrong because I know of a lot of people who were a;so quite ill up until the 4th month of their pregnancy who didnt develop PND. I would have to see if there was a proper study into this.
I also wonder if low iron levels are a contributing factor? I have a B12 def now and I certainly know of people who have this and also experienced PND. They also say that traumatic experiences may be a factor , again the accident with my Dad. or am I just clutching at straws and trying to make sense of something that just happened and I need to get over it and move on?
I guess my main point of this blog is to help people understand that it happens, its OK to go through it and there is help. I want to raise awareness about it and I just want to write for my own therapeutic process. It is a very real experience and in writing this is has provoked much anger towards being let down by some health professionals. n i could get bitter and remain angry but instead, I will try to change the way in which people are dealt with.
I was speaking to a health visitor at work last night and even she said that they need to re think the way in which women and men are dealt with. She believes that there is still very much a stigma attached to PND and that something needs to change. She believes that a lot of women don’t admit it to themselves because they are scared of having their children taken away from them or having the label of “unfit” mother assigned to them. I think personally to that last statement I would challenge it. You want more than anything in the world to have that bond, you try almost anything but for some it just takes longer. But it happens, i assure you and would bet my life on it.