Im going to tell you about one experience I had, my first I should add… of the dreaded… wait for it… BABY GROUP!!! does that send as many shivers up your back as it does mine? If so, you are not alone! I know a few mothers who have the same reaction when mentioned.
Now, I dont want to give all of them bad press , because there are some good ones out there.. I just never found them.
My first experience of going to a baby group was when I was in the depths of PND. I wanted to go because it was recommended to me and as stated before, I try to be as proactive as possible. The morning that I went, it was raining … now that’s nothing new when you live in Scotland but i’m sure it probably did contribute to the way that I was feeling.
I was advised by my health visitor that there was one not too far from me and that it started at 10:30am. I tried getting up early in order to get out the door but as most new Mum’s and Mum’s in general really, that it can be difficult to get out the door before 12! I drove up and before getting out the car, i think I was having a minor panic attack as I just wasn’t up to meeting new people or leaving the house unless it was to see family and on the odd occasion, friends especially if my husband wasn’t with me.
The building itself was a concrete building with no windows …. so i walked in and waited. I saw that there was a gate but didn’t know how to open it or who to speak to. I started to panic. A janitor opened the gate for me and said that I should go in and pay whatever the fee was. I went in and there were tonnes of kids running around and many mothers, and 1 father.
I scanned the room looking for eye contact with someone who would come and speak to me but no one did. I tried smiling at many of the adults, no one smiled back. i felt like a child in the playground who no one wanted to play with. I felt like shit. Sorry for the language but this is an honest account.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, the fear in my body and the need to get out of there fast. The harder I tried not to cry, the faster the tears came. I put my head down and went to walk out but I was stopped by a woman with a baby who looked around a year old who i would later come to know as Rachael and a little boy with the cutest glasses that resembled the milky bar kid and his name was Nathaniel . Her name was kate and she is one of my best friends now. If she hadn’t came to speak to me that day, I don’t know how things would have turned out. She is one of the many supportive people that I have in my life and I am so thankful that I attended that baby group on that day.
P.S. I never set foot in that group again.