The Sun Newspaper,An Open Letter

Dear -Fill in the blank,

One of your journalists approached me a few months back when I was on a 2 day break with my kids and cousins,via email with the subject of “Will you talk to me”. Now, I’m sure I can be forgiven for thinking that this was junk mail and to be honest, I should have deleted it and sent it to the trash where it quite rightly belonged but I didn’t. Instead, I engaged in a lengthly conversation about my experience with Post natal depression – and against my better judgement (as I had a feeling and a “niggle”) telling me not continue or share ,but oh boy, I sure did. See,that’s what some journalists feed on .. a person’s vulnerability and/or the need to want to help people and break down stigma , that they are willing to let you in to their thoughts and feelings, to tell the story of how they nearly god damn died because of what was going on.

I have been blogging and talking about my journey for many years and until recently, I didn’t have it in me for fear of judgement, to talk about and admit to the termination that I had. Due to shame and regret? Possibly and most probably but I was told that it would help other women. You got me hook,line and sinker. Silly ,me I guess.  Now, it is true that I had told this story to an amazing woman in a previous publication(so as your title suggested, it wasn’t an exclusive) a few weeks prior to but the Sun is much closer to home and I know that the chance of people I know reading it was more likely than the other.

When I received an email to tell me that it had been published, I was away at a residential bootcamp and had no coverage apart from wifi at certain times of the day.  Imagine my shock when I opened this.


My stomach sank and I was nearly sick. I have never ever been made to feel the way I felt on day of publication.  I couldn’t read the whole thing due to tears streaming down my face and the bile rising in my throat from my stomach. Over dramatic enough for you? Well unfortunately its all true which is more than I can say for your headline which I was told wasn’t written by the journalist who spoke to me- despite only her name being on the article.

I want to ask one thing… The headline talks about how I “aborted my healthy baby”. How do you know that this baby was healthy or not? How do you think that impacts a mother on the brink of suicide, making such a difficult decision , who thinks that she’s murdering her baby? Because i’ll tell you this, I was at that stage in my life and I fought so fucking hard to get through it all and I did. It was my husband, my daughter, my cousin,uncle and close friends who helped. Your paper hides behind the guise of wanting to help and share these stories but it is YOUR paper that adds to the stigma when you print headlines like that and take advantage of people like me.  You did real good though.. I like to think that I’m intelligent,worldly and educated pretty well….Maybe not.

When I tried contacting the journalist, she wasn’t in the office but her boss was. he didn’t reply until I sent two other emails and her dismissive attitude was a  further kick in the stomach.  I responded to her mail but I haven’t had a reply back so I am reponding to a few points via this open letter  Number 1. Apparently, “Sometimes seeing your story in print can be painful”- ahh , yes especially when it’s sensationalised. which leaves me to point 2.  questioning ethics…”Headlines are meant to grab attention” at the risk of someones mental health? Really, you want to go there? 3.The Scottish Sun has tackled many sensitive subjects without complaint – lies. Ask blogger @TheRealSupermum and the doozy which was done on her.

I vowed after this “story” was published( which some of it appears to have been taken from a certain other publication, tut tut)that I would never share anything again but I looked back at some of the old emails,texts and comments on my blog of support, and thought about why I started writing and share my story in the first palce. The conclusion that I came to was my need to let women (and men) who make difficult decisions every day or go through PND,Prenatal depression or depression as a whole, that they aren’t alone,there is support and no one needs to feel shame. You won’t destroy that because I won’t let you.  Your “rag” of a newspaper is thought less of than I am. The only one who should feel shame, is you.

Regards

Angeline Brunel Dickson

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What do you eat?

A lot of people have asked me what I eat when training and  in general so I thought I would include pics of the meals that I make on a regular basis. I generally try to use what I have to hand but I also look to instagram and the people I follow for inspiration and facebook groups, too.  I try to plan as much as I can and this means less food waste and I also don’t spend a lot because I do 1 big shop a month, where as if I was going to the shops daily, I could be tempted to pick up things that I don’t really need and we are all guilty of that.Clean eating

 

Since being at The Camp, I’ve reduced my portion sizes considerably and of the 7.5lbs that I lost that week, I’ve managed to keep it off- and still losing, nearly 3 weeks later! If you want to follow my food posts, just click over it Instagram where I’m known as “Angelfire16” and I love showing people what I eat as instagram has helped me when I’ve been stuck for ideas. I’ve been mindful of not having any processed foods and I haven’t really even craved sweet stuff but when I do, its a couple of squares of dark chocolate or some dates.

Have you recently started eating clean? What sorts of food do you make?

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Lazy Girl – Staying in

After having a week of intense exercise whilst attending boot camp, I have had little energy as I was back in the lions den so to speak, with work that same day and family life which means that motivation is currently zilch, nada, non existent.

I was supposed to be going out with some friends the night that I was back but instead I cancelled and opted to stay in. I thought that I would devise a healthy eating  and exercise plan to look forward to in hope that I would continue on my weight loss journey that I had achieved when I was away. I had an idea of what I wanted to eat after being educated by the nutritionalist, but trying to do a shopping list when the kids are awake and distracting me, really isn’t a good idea. So I left it until later on that night, armed with a cup of herbal tea in my hand and pen and paper to help and I intended to have a very productive evening.

Instead, I found myself planning a mini break away with the girls but wondering how I would come up with the cash! So I did something that I had never done before and went on to an online casino to chance my luck and see if I could win some money towards a 3 day weekend with my friends.  I told myself that I would only spend £10 and I came away with £45! not bad at all , for my first attempt! I know that it was probably beginners luck but it put a smile on my face and I was glad that I had tried as I was always a bit wary of trying these on line sites.

So next weekend, the girls and I are off up north to a nice bed and breakfast, for some R&R and beautiful views with the odd glass of prosecco ;)

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The Camp: My Amazing Experience

As you all know, I was lucky enough to attend boot camp in one of Scotland’s most beautiful and breath-taking settings run by the most professional and qualified camps to ever hit the UK. I wanted to blog about each day, that was the plan (and still is), but some days have merged into one!

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 I was late coming on the Saturday due to my shift and I arrived at 9pm after a 2 hr drive which went by quite quickly and I really enjoyed coming through the park after a hectic morning with the kids and a busy enough shift at work. When I arrived, I was met by Rhona - who I would learn had the power to heal with her hands not to mention a winning personality to go along with it! She brought me to my room to drop off my luggage and to show me around before I had something to eat (made by Ros, the chef who made us food to die for!) which was delicious salmon with veg., and after this I was taken to the office and my measurements put down on paper. I also met my first instructor – Craig and then later on i met our other instructor, Fraser very briefly.

 I was feeling pretty positive, I was raring to go the next morning and was up with the larks in preparation for what was ahead. Before I left work and my friends , I was told that I was crazy for doing it and they hoped I would survive my week at The Camp. I couldn’t understand what they were on about as they knew about my love for exercise and adventure! I soon found out though….. I can’t go into exact detail about what we did because it wouldn’t be fair for others who are yet to attend but we had a session before breakfast…

 I got to meet the other women attending and I really couldn’t have met a nicer bunch of inspiring , interesting and just utterly amazing ,women. I knew then that it was going to be a week full of fun and laughs which it was. Don’t get me wrong, there was lots of tears too but not for the reasons that you may think.

On our first day of exercise, I was up before they came by the room and I had all of my gear on whilst the others were getting up for showers and getting changed. We were all in line for 7am and told to go down to the area which I think we had nicknamed the field of dreams – that was debatable at certain times! We were put through some circuits and warmed up pretty quickly before going for our breakfast which consisted of either muesli or porridge I chose the porridge along with a cup of herbal tea and then a cup of coffee which I was so pleased to learn, wasn’t banned for the week, thankfully! I think it was the one thing which kept me going each morning in our first class of the day.

I was pretty upbeat after the first class and breakfast and I really felt as though I was going to be able to get through it easily.. I was so very naive… stay tuned for my next entry and see what I am referring to….

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Bringing colour into your interiors to create an upbeat living space

 A home is much more than just a collection of walls and ceilings; it’s where you can let your personality have full rein through the way you decorate it. When you think about decorating, whether it’s because you’ve just bought an exciting new home or it’s time to give your long-term abode a fresh makeover, you’re spoilt for choice with the range of colours you can bring in to it. 

Plan before you start

 

It’s always worth taking some time to think about how you want to decorate your living spaces rather than just jumping in and hoping things will work. Plan how you want your walls and ceilings to be in different rooms. Colours for your living spaces should be different to the rooms you use for rest and relaxation, as should the colours for a work area where you want to focus and concentrate.

 

Try testing out a few colour ideas before you start. If you have some favourites, then paint a good-sized piece of cardboard and set it up to a wall. If you think it works, then go for it.

 

Cool or warm?

 

Before beginning, it’s best to learn a little about colour attributes. Cool colours are generally considered to be greens, blues and greys. You can mix these with creams and whites to create restful spaces such as bedrooms, bathrooms or a study for work. You’re looking to create a space where you are comfortable to relax or concentrate on certain tasks.

 

Using blues and greens on walls and ceilings evokes the outside world of nature, and adding some splashes of yellow, evoking sunshine, can help add to that aura of peacefulness and calm.

 

Yellow is part of the warm colour palette that includes oranges and reds as well as beige and creamy colours. There’s no problem with some careful mixing of warm and cool, but you need to think about what type of environment you want to create.

 

Warm colours are ideal for your living areas – your dining room and living room in particular, but also your kitchen. You can use dashes of purple if you want to set off a particular wall or feature – lilac can work very well rather than a deeper purple – and you can use black as well, but be sparing with that. It’s classed as a warm colour and can be overpowering.

 

Furniture and ornaments

 

Rooms can look at their best when there are contrasts between the paintwork and the furniture and ornaments you have in them. You can brighten things with beautiful flowers from the garden in an engraved vase or by choosing furniture that doesn’t just mirror the room colours, but rather adds a little difference whilst still making your living spaces feel warm and inviting.

 

The addition of artworks can also make a real difference to how your rooms feel, so choose carefully, and only settle on pictures or ornaments that you wouldn’t mind looking at every day.

 

It’s your home

 

Colour lifts the interiors in your home – you can make it as upbeat as you like. After completing your interior designs, you can just sit back and enjoy what you have achieved.
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