Post natal depression and its effects on my life good and bad

Updates Since the Conference

by angeline

Well, isn’t time flying! cant believe it was only 3 weeks ago or so since the Perinatal Mental Health Conference here in Glasgow! As mentioned in a previous post, the film and MAWS were very well received with many encouraging comments and feedback, all of which will be published when the report has been compiled by the Mental health Network.

We have been contacted by the “See Me” campaign to do work with them and the BBC and British Library which is very exciting as it means that what we set out to do about raising awareness , is happening! People are accepting that things need to be done and that current practice has to be changed. People are listening to the women and men who have experienced Perinatal Mental Health , not just health professionals.

One of the most encouraging things have been from many different student midwives , health visitors and current midwives who want to hear what we have to say and have also joined us on our twitter and Facebook pages, and it shows that people are understanding and are open to delivering good practice. This is great that both health professionals and survivors can work together to bring about change and to also understand the health side and the lived experience side.

We have also been offered premises which is great as all of the MAWS have been working from home on top of working in paid employment, being parents and looking after young children as well as also managing other commitments that life brings us all. It hasn’t been easy and as personal boundaries are important, we have really dealt well with the positive feedback and many offers that keep coming our way. We also have a few things which we are exploring re release of DVD but have to finalize things with the NHS about ownership and copyright.

We would like to say to those who have contacted us that if we have not responded yet it is either due to time, or the fact that all MAWS must be in agreement before a decision is made due to our own core values amongst the group and respecting each others wishes. We have been extremely busy if you can all continue to email us at mawsjourney@gmail.com , we will get back to you.

We would like to thank everyone for their continued support and encouraging emails.

The MAWS

www.maws.info

Post Natal Depression

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Guest Post: MAMA Academy

by angeline

In May 2009 my life changed forever. I was a healthy young Mum, pregnant with my first baby. I developed gestational diabetes but was content as I managed to keep my sugar levels low through a carefully planned diet. My antenatal appointments were filled with excitement as everything was going to plan. Both myself and my baby looked very healthy and happy all the way through until I reached 36 weeks. At a routine appointment, my midwife couldn’t find my baby’s heartbeat.
Aidan James Eldridge was born still on the 15th May 2009 weighing 5lb 4oz. His death is marked as “unexplained” on the post mortem results but it is thought that my placenta had stopped working. The shock and devastation that followed cannot be described & my life was completely turned upside down. I had no idea that babies were still dying in the UK, or how common it is.
I have since been blessed with another son, Tobiah Lysanias(Goodness of God, drives away sorrows) who arrived safely into the world on the 1st October 2010. During this pregnancy I made sure I was well educated & armed myself with as much knowledge as possible so I knew the warning signs & when to get checked by my maternity team.
After attending various Sands meetings I noticed that many mums were receiving inconsistent advice from their midwives. I did a lot of research and got in touch with my local hospitals to present my findings at their MSLC meetings. It was at these meetings that I learnt the true value of midwives, and that they need support & access to new information, just as much as expectant Mums do. This led me to set up MAMA Academy, the pregnancy school!
MAMA Academy provides vital education to both expectant Mums and healthcare providers. We aim to help Mums have healthy pregnancies and keep Midwives up to date with all the latest guidelines, studies and research. All our information is provided by our team of healthcare professionals and the midwives side of our website has been accredited by The Royal College of Midwives. Our mission is to make a difference in the world and see the numbers of baby loss decrease.
You can make a difference too by sharing our facebook page, sending us your pregnancy stories for other mums/ midwives to learn from, and by becoming a MAMA member for free via our website.
Thank you for all your support and helping us to make a difference J

Heidi Eldridge
MAMA Academy
www.mamaacademy.com
contact@mamaacademy.com
www.facebook.com/mamaacademy
Twitter: @mamaacademy

Post Natal Depression

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Breast is Best…. But What About Choice?

by angeline

As many people know, I did not breast feed. I wanted to and I tried to the point where I was sitting in my cousins room with her trying to get the wee one latched on and boobs on display (she was a volunteer for breast feeding initiative) whilst my child cried and other kids ran around. But I just couldn’t.

I still to this day, nearly 5 years later have that guilt, which yes I applied to myself but one which is given by the media and their campaigns , midwives, doctors and most surprisingly other mothers. Other mothers can be mean, absolute bitches. They can be the most judgmental of other women and so very damaging to the point where it can have an effect on ones mental health.

We all have choice, but when breast isn’t always best due to the detrimental affect it can have on a mothers mental health, where do we draw the line? Should we stop when weeping in pain due to cracked nipples, soreness and immense pain or do we keep going because in our heads all we can hear is “breast is best, breast is best”? We bang on about how a happy mother is a good mother….but what if its a difference between not doing it and instead bottle feeding , with a baby who is getting the nutrition in other ways and a mother not being in pain? will my daughter come to me one day and say “I’m not happy with you because you didn’t breast feed” absolutely not.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it isn’t fair that ones parenting skills are judged upon what choice they make. Why judge someone when what they choose could make a hell of a lot of difference to their mental state? Some people think that breast fed babies are healthier, I think this isn’t fair to say as its an individual thing and environmental factors come into it as well.

I was speaking to someone this morning who felt that she had to hide the fact that she hadn’t breast fed, from her health visitor for fear of judgement and having to justify the reason why. is this the type of world that we want our kids growing up in? That we can’t think for ourselves and that we would rather make others happy before ourselves? In the back of my mind I feel that when or if we have another baby, I will defo breast feed this time and make up for the mistakes that i made the first time round. In reading that I shake my head and tell myself to feck off at the thought. Now if I am having a thought like this, there must be many more women out there who feel the same?

What we should be promoting is choice, and that as long as your child is getting nutrition, growing and having a parent who is looking after them, loving them and that the basic needs are met, that this is enough? Do they want a parent who is being pulled in so many different directions and feeling so much guilt and stress that it ends up in anxiety and depression? Im sure that we all know the answer to this.

I am not anti breast feeding, I don’t want this to come across, I just want top stop another mother from feeling that the reason why she has perinatal mental health issues is because it happens and not because she couldn’t breast feed. That the bond doesn’t come from breast feeding alone but other things too.

Post Natal Depression

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Trip to London

by angeline

Thanks to twitter, I am on my way to LONDON! Chelsea to be exact, to visit the Matt Roberts Fitness Studio for a fitness test which is for the purposes of a Daily Mail article. More about that later..

For those that know me, I am not very good at flying , it terrifies the hell out of me and this is why I am writing this post even before I get to London. I don’t think I thought this one clear guys. Not at all.

I’m currently on the Glasgow to Luton flight and my jaw is clenched, my stomach in knots and my mind thinking about the “what if’s” when faced with a possible near death experience. Yes, that’s right, NEAR DEATH! We were not made to fly people! If we were, we would have been fitted with wings at birth and I wouldn’t need to be In this contraption where all sorts of things can happen!

I used to like flying when I was younger, never had an issue with it but this is payback, Karma if you will. What I mean is that my mother is terrified of flying and when we would go together on flights when I was a young child, I would often at the sound of a noise tell her that it was due to part of the wing or wheel falling off and be delighted at the look of sheer terror on her face. So yes, it’s karma.

I’m finding myself examining each part of the wing, as I’m at a window seat right now, and already I’ve convinced myself that I see a crack. Now we seem to be heading in to a bit of turbulence, I think I may experience the whole “life flashing in front of ones eyes” moment. Why must the pilot tell me that if all goes tits up that we are cruising at 35 000 feet? I don’t need to know how far my metal coffin is going to fall! Jaysus!

I remember when I was studying counselling and my lecturer said “and next week we will discuss how to counsel people with irrational fears such as flying…” I was really looking forward to that class but right now don’t remember a thing.

I guess it comes down to control and the lack there of. Once those doors close, that’s it. Oh, and it doesn’t help that I seem to be sitting next to a guy who resembles a character from “six feet under”

So I guess, if this post makes it to my blog, then it must mean that I made it to London….. It’s just getting back that I will need to get through thereafter…. Train?

and things that dont fit